How many patients will suck today?

The answer is all of them.

Today was by far the worst day I have experienced yet. First we had a patient who sadly had undergone a stroke, and was unable to remember my instructions for a Visual Field test. These tests on average are around 9 minutes, with the subject looking only at one spot the entire time. The machine will randomly flash a spot of light to check their vision in the periphery. This poor man would forget to push the button everytime, so I would have to keep reminding him to.

Next patient: Old sweet asian man and his daughter. He comes in for a Fluorescein Angiogram and color fundus photos. He does not speak english at all, and cannot open his barely dilated eyes enough for me to get good photos. I really love having to pry patients eyes open. After we finish the photos before the dye, I get one of the next door doc’s to do the injection of the dye. He does one attempt, and does not get it, and gives up. I grab another doctor who has been in internal medicine for over 20 years, and he is unable to find a vein. Both of his attempts result in ruptured veins and will leave that poor guy some large bruises. We end up making him take the dye orally, with some diet coke. He seriously pounded that drink like a champ. He was by far the toughest patient today, but my overall favorite of the day.

Next amazing patient: Comes in for ONLY an OCT scan. This test normally takes on average 5 minutes, depending on the patient and the media. I finished her scan in 2 minutes. First thing she asks me when we sit down at the machine is, “Do you have some Asian in you?”. I reply, “nope, dad was Colombian, mom is German/Irish.” Best patient ever says, “Oh Colombian, you probably have some Asian.” I kindly reply, “No I would say none at all.” What a fucking retard. Are you kidding me? What kind of shit have you been smoking? Then she tells me how she was just recently in Spain, and how many different appearances people who speak spanish are. Um…. are you fucking serious? This woman is just straight up mental. Oh and she was not old, she was in her 40’s. Just that type of personality that sucks really bad. I dont want you to think I’m making fun of some senile old person.

After her test, she proceeds to hassle my receptionist about some photos which were sent to her doctor from 3 years ago. Just go away. Please. Just leave now.

So in conclusion, my day was slow, painful and shittastic. How was yours?

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~ by eyeopening on August 1, 2008.

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